Since becoming a mother I have found that the guilt trips never seem to end. Every day there is something I can feel guilty about. Another aspect I have failed in. I am not the perfect mother I want to be, and I feel guilty about it. And I am not the only one. Since I started Twinning-It mothers numerous mothers have come to me for advice. "How do you get your dishes done every day? How do you get enough sleep with Twins? How do you make sure they get their 15 minutes of reading when there is so much to do?" It seems I am not the only mother who feels guilty about not getting one thing or another done in the day. Well, if you want to know the answer to all of these questions it is simple. I don't.
Every day there is at least one thing or another that I have had to neglect. I work forty plus hours a week, and all of them on the night shift. This means I work anywhere from one to five in the morning most nights and still have to get up with the babies in the morning. I am sure you can imagine how exhausted this makes me most days. Most of the time, if I wish to stay sane that is, I have to use their nap for a nap of my own. This leaves very little time for chores and all the things that need to be done around the house. Dishes are never completely done. There is always another load of laundry to be done. I never have that feeling of completeness. And I feel guilty about it. But why? I work hard don't I? I bring home money every night so my babies can have the things that they need every day. I give my babies as much love and attention as I possibly can in a day. And I make sure they know how much I love them So why do I feel guilty when I am obviously doing my best? I think it is because, like all mothers, I just want the best for my babies. But life is not perfect, and it is simply not possible to get everything done in a day.
I believe another source of this guilt is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to other mothers. "Well, she gets all of this stuff done in a day, why can't I?" It's hard, but I think we all need to just let this go. The fact of the matter is that we are not that other mother, and our circumstances are not the same. Our kids are not the same. And our needs are certainly not the same. While it is hard, I think all we can do is try to turn the other cheek. Look at all the things we did get done in the day and know that we are trying our best for our kids. Our kids will recognize this eventually after all....even if it takes most of their lives. We just have to know we are doing our best. And that is what really matters.
Every day there is at least one thing or another that I have had to neglect. I work forty plus hours a week, and all of them on the night shift. This means I work anywhere from one to five in the morning most nights and still have to get up with the babies in the morning. I am sure you can imagine how exhausted this makes me most days. Most of the time, if I wish to stay sane that is, I have to use their nap for a nap of my own. This leaves very little time for chores and all the things that need to be done around the house. Dishes are never completely done. There is always another load of laundry to be done. I never have that feeling of completeness. And I feel guilty about it. But why? I work hard don't I? I bring home money every night so my babies can have the things that they need every day. I give my babies as much love and attention as I possibly can in a day. And I make sure they know how much I love them So why do I feel guilty when I am obviously doing my best? I think it is because, like all mothers, I just want the best for my babies. But life is not perfect, and it is simply not possible to get everything done in a day.
I believe another source of this guilt is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to other mothers. "Well, she gets all of this stuff done in a day, why can't I?" It's hard, but I think we all need to just let this go. The fact of the matter is that we are not that other mother, and our circumstances are not the same. Our kids are not the same. And our needs are certainly not the same. While it is hard, I think all we can do is try to turn the other cheek. Look at all the things we did get done in the day and know that we are trying our best for our kids. Our kids will recognize this eventually after all....even if it takes most of their lives. We just have to know we are doing our best. And that is what really matters.